Few objects are of such vital importance to young people as the character of their early friends. Tourists among the Alps climb the mountains tied together with ropes that they may help each other. But sometimes one falls and drags the others down with him. So the friends to whom the young attach themselves will either help them upward or fairer beauty and sublimer excellence or drag them down to blemished character, and mayhap to sullied purity.
A friend should be one whom we can trust perfectly. It is the truest test of friendship that you can utter the most inviolable confidences, living as it were a transparent life in the presence of your friend without dreading for a moment that he will betray or misuse the privacies you have unveiled to him. Such confidence is impossible without a background of integrity and sterling character. If you have the least doubt of a man’s truth and honor, if you believe him capable of being disloyal even in thought, you cannot take him into the sacred relation of friendship. The familiar story of Alexander and his physician well illustrates the trust that friendship should be able to give. The king was sick, and received a note telling him that his physician intended to give him poison under the guise of medicine. He read the note and put it under his pillow, and when the physician came in he took the proffered cup, and, looking him calmly in the face, drank the draught. He then drew out the note and gave it to his friend. It is impossible to conceive of any trust more perfect than this. Such confidence could never be exercised in one of whose integrity we could have the faintest suspicion. The first essential qualification in a friend is, therefore, a soul of unblemished truth.
Then a friend must be one who will not weary of us when he discovers the faults and imperfections that are in us. We meet people in society, and they see in us the glow of distance which lends enchantment, concealing our unlovely qualities or spreading over them a deceptive coloring. Some faces which look very attractive when veiled disclose many blemishes when seen uncovered. There are few characters that do not reveal uncomely traits on intimate acquaintance that were not apparent in the ordinary intercourse of social life. We walk before our closest friends in a sort of moral deshabille, and they oftentimes see much silliness, pride and vanity under the thin veneer of our society manners. Even in the very best of us there are unlovely features which close intimacy discloses. In choosing friends we want those who will not be driven away when they learn our faults. True friendship must be proof against all such discoveries. It must take us for better or for worse. We do not want friends in whose presence we must wear a mask of reserve, but those who, seeing and knowing us as we are, shall love us in spite of the blemishes, seeking wisely, though not officiously or offensively, the removal of our faults and the elevation of our character. Nothing but great heartedness is sufficient for this essential want.
Then we should choose friends who will be helpful to us. Every friendship leaves its impression upon us. There are touches that blight, and there are touches that are benedictions. A young and innocent heart is so delicate in its beauty that a breath of evil leaves it sullied. We cannot afford to take into our life, even for a little time, an impure companionship. It will leave a memory that will give pain in the holiest after years.
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