| Week-Day Religion |
Chapter 20 |
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There are times when silence is golden, when words mean defeat, and when victory can be gained only by answering not a word. Many of the painful quarrels and much of the bitterness of what we call so often “incompatibility of temper” would never be known if we would learn to keep silence when others wrong us. We may choke back the angry word that flies to our lips. The insult unanswered will recoil upon itself and be its own destruction.
There is also a wonderful opportunity here for the play of good nature. There are some people whose abounding humour always comes to their relief when they observe the gathering of a storm, and they will have a little story ready, or will suddenly turn the conversation entirely away from the inflammable subject, or will make some bright or playful remark that will cause the whole trouble to blow off in a hearty laugh. It would not seem impossible for all to learn to bear insults or grievances in some of these ways, either in silence – not sullen, thunder-charged, but loving silence – or by returning the soft answer which will quench the flame of anger, or by that wise tact which drives out the petulant humour by the expulsive power of a new emotion.
There are at least two motives, which should be sufficient to lead us to cultivate this grace of forbearance. One is that no insult can do us harm unless we allow it to irritate us. If we endure even the sorest words as Jesus endured His wrongs and revilings, they will not leave one trace of injury upon us. They can harm us only when we allow ourselves to become impatient or angry. We can get the victory over them; utterly disarm them of power to do us injury, by holding ourselves superior to them. The feeling of resentment will change to pity when we remember that not he who is wronged, but he who does the wrong, is the one who suffers. Every injustice or grievance reacts and leaves a stain and a wound. All the cruelties and persecutions that human hate could inflict would not leave one trace of real harm upon us, but every feeling of resentment admitted into our hearts, every angry word uttered, will leave a stain. Forbearance thus becomes a perfect shield, which protects us from all the cruelties and wrongs of life.
The other motive is drawn from our relation to God. We sin against Him continually, and His mercy never fails. His love bears with all our neglect, forgetfulness, ingratitude and disobedience, and never grows impatient with us. We live only by His forbearance. The wrongs He endures from us are infinite in comparison with the trivial grievances we must endure from our fellow-men. When we think of this, can we grow impatient of the little irritations of daily fellowship? We are taught to pray every day, “Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.” How can we pray this petition sincerely and continue to be exacting, resentful, revengeful, or even to be greatly pained by the unkind treatment of others?
The Koran says that two angels guard every man on the earth, one watching on either side of him; and when at night he sleeps, they fly up to heaven with a written report of all his words and actions during the day. Every good thing he has done is recorded at once and repeated ten times, lest some item may be lost or omitted from the account. But when they come to a sinful thing, the angel on the right says to the other, “Forbear to record that for seven hours; peradventure, as he wakes and thinks in the quiet hours, he may be sorry for it, and repent and pray and obtain forgiveness.” This is a true picture of the way in which God regards our lives. He is slow to see our sins or to write them down against us. He delights in mercy. We are to repeat in our lives as his children something at least of his patience. The song of forgiveness and forbearance which he sings into our hearts we are to echo forth again.
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